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Published on April 23rd, 2019 | by voxx


Duct Tape

I understand Diego. Admittedly, to everybody else his vowel contortions make him sound like a Dalek, but I didn’t notice that there was a problem. There are particular letter sounds that he can’t quite form, such as C, F and G, but as this doesn’t stop him from talking for England, I have no concerns. The other element of his speech that I find quite intriguing is how conveniently crystal clear he can pronounce words when he’s directing horrifying insults at people…

Diego’s been referred back to speech and language therapy. I really admire the job of those people who help others, and this is one of them. Diego attended this therapy when he was two, and his word sounds improved brilliantly. Not only did his speech improve but he gained confidence and he reached the milestones he was expected to. Success.

However… there is a huge difference between then and now. We last attended when Diego was a quiet baby, not a talkative almost-five-year-old. Listening is key in forming the ability to repeat the sounds. This time around I’m clueless as to how I’m going to keep him quiet for long enough to listen to the instructions! He’s that much of a chatterbox that he even talks in his sleep!

So, out of curiosity, is duct tape still frowned upon?

Diego and I did hit a mutually peaceful ground this month. After four failed attempts to decrypt a word that sounded like ‘dawg’ but that actually meant ‘chalk’, (I may be good but I’m not that good), he decided he was never going to speak to me again.

Excuse me whilst I pour a glass of red. Bliss. What is that sound of silence that I hear?

Except, I kid you not, it lasted less than two minutes.

- By Boneata Bell

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